Not playing but tilting

This month I didn't in much volume just because I had graduation exams , but when I decided to play I was very incredibly highly tilted . Today, though I win 200$ , I was tilted. I guess that this happens because I was running hot for the end of the last month and I always expect to win? Can't understand my behavior when playing . I have no control over my body , over my thoughts and over my language . It seems like it's not me anymore and this is very annoying. I keep repeating during the session that my self control is very important otherwise I will not be able to achieve my goals ,but in vain. I just keep saying "unbelievable" even when everyone folds when I have a big hand. 
I want to be able to play one entire month without tilting because when I'm playing that kind of volume I could be playing it's impossible not to win at the end of the month more money than average salaries from my poor country. So why making my life and my job so hard ? I really can't understand myself.